Lessons on Healing

So I just realized that exactly one year ago from today, I shattered my little right humerus. Not funny. At all. (Though the pun itself got a LOT of mileage with me and almost anybody who asked “what is wrong with your arm” for many months). I have probably felt more mortal and vulnerable this past year than any previous period in my life. In more ways than broken bones. In this post I want to focus on the lessons learned from my very tangible, physical healing from broken bones to illustrate lessons that can be extrapolated to situations much deeper and that we tend to keep much more hidden.

But first, let me really quick chronicle the arm story:

It all began on a slick winter day, Feb 18^th, when I took my friend Rita Fan snowboarding at Sundance. It was her first time, and after a few trial runs, she was really getting the hang of it. We took a lunch break to warm the inerds, and then went back to the slopes. That first post-lunch run Rita was doing excellent, so I thought I’d take a little diversion through the more powdery unpaved trails through the trees for a few minutes. It turned out to be more icy than expected, and carving was a bit rough. I am sure I have done snowboard stunts 10 times more daring and 20 times more stupid, but I just went on a simple (but slick!) jump that just shot me back. I landed on a straight right arm… and felt a snap. Luckily (for my rescue) and unluckily (for my pride) it happened just under the lifts, so some passengers yelled down to me “Are you ok?” I answered “I’m not sure.” I laid there for a few minutes and then tried to get up. And felt upper humerus bone slide past lower humerus bone. And so I yelled up to the people passing on the lift, “Hey, I think I broke my arm. Could you ask someone to come get me when you get to the top?” My body was in shock, so I didn’t feel a lot of pain at this point. But the pain grew as I laid there for a good 20 minutes for someone to arrive. The EMT did a little assessment, and then said “We’re going to have to cut through your shirts.” I had been so brave up to this point, but that’s when the floodgates opened. I was wearing my favorite sweatshirt and under-armour (they were way cute). Then I got hefted onto a toboggan, and was pulled by a skier down to the bottom. Always had wanted to do that. Wasn’t as awesome as I had imagined!

Here is my great EMT team (who allowed me to stay warm in the ambulance, but I refused to let them take me to the hospital with the ridiculous expense). We were able to locate poor confused Rita about an hour later to transport me down.

 Here are a couple views of my shattered little thing.

My hand wasn’t hurt at all, but all the liquid drained down into it, so I had sort of a “memory foam” hand (pitting edema to the extreme). A few of my closest friends (Dani Shurtleff is the most poignant in my mind) died laughing (like, fell on the floor) the first time they saw it- that reaction made my day (seriously).

And then I moved to Africa. 

Arm brace and all. 

I wore that trusty nasty brace for a couple of months in that hot hot sun and got a hot hot farmers tan. Wore it up until about the last week of June… Two blissful carefree weeks until… the doomed foot break (detailed 2 posts ago).

Here are some snippets from my journal, dated 14 July 2012 (the REAL meat of this

post):

“Its coming up on a week of having a broken foot in Africa. Honestly, I am really glad that I first had my broken arm experience- because in comparison, this break is a cakewalk. My shattered arm was absolutely debilitating physically, mentally, emotionally for about 6 weeks. This little metatarsal break isn’t too painful- inconvenient, yes- but I can still brush my teeth and bathe myself! Pit latrines are tricky, but whatever.

“I think that during my arm break, I was just too overwhelmed with the exertion of daily tasks to really reflect on what I was experiencing (and Percoset sure didn’t help with the cognition). However, in this second go-around within 5 months of the first, I’ve been able to reflect a little more. Here are a few thoughts I have been having:

Lesson Learned on Healing:

•            Unlike many other attainments in life, hard work and extra exertion do not accelerate, but rather impede in many cases, the healing process. Healing IS a process. Time, proper care, and rest are often the best advocates for healing.
•      The only damage to my arm was the broken bone, and yet automatically, my joint stiffened and my muscles were completely unresponsive for a good few weeks (as in, it was like having a paralyzed arm, I would carry my right arm with my left arm as if it was an inanimate object attached to my body- so weird). It seems that the body’s natural process of healing itself draws on all of the faculties of the body and mind to sort of focus all resources on getting that part back and running. I hope that I remember to be more lenient on those people who are not whole. Even in tasks that seem unrelated to whatever the illness is, the suffering can be exhaustive in and of itself, leaving less energy and brain-power to accomplish other things. Just accomplishing basic daily tasks may be all one can do in a day. 
•       Dealing with these sorts of injuries has forced me to not just let people help, but also to ask people to help and be ok with it. People LOVE helping. Allowing someone to help you brings a special closeness.

I’m pretty sure I’ve learned everything I need to learn, and 2013 will be nothing but hearts and roses… I think that is how life works. Yeah, pretty sure.